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Joke of the Day

"Life is a lot line piano lessons. Because my mom forced me into it and expects me to try my best even though she knows I fucking hate the piano."

"Chick on tinder < chicken tender"

"The more you run over a cat... the flatter it gets."

"I want to start a band called Absolute Zero. People will say we're 0K."

"Why was the two-dimensional emo sad? Because nobody would ever know how deep he was."

"Whats wrong with four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac seats five."

"How do you know a black guy's been at your computer? It's not there."

"What floats, is very-very heavy and carries a variety of flavours as a payload? A *Souper*tanker! Simmer on that! - I say!"

"Don't believe everything you think."

"Date like a boyscout Leave em better than you found em."