182007
Joke of the Day
"How do you say goodbye to German cheese? Velveetazane"
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"Dance like nobody's watching. Sing like nobody's listening. Walk around the party eating the cheeseball like an apple."
"What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? With a drum machine you only have to punch the instructions in once"
"My college bar had a ""Blow your GPA"" drink special night until all the Asian students died..."
"There are few things more awkward on a blind date than looking up from your phone to realise she's left. She obviously wasn't blind at all."
"You don't know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, an you take all the covers with you."
"So then the otaku says... That's no body pillow. That's my wife!"
"What's the best way to get a hold of Vin Diesel? IM Groot. : D Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lvlj1u9S258"
"""The Spoon"" Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. . Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."
"Call your laptop what it really is: Bed TV."