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Joke of the Day

"Why did the woman take her third aborted fetus to see the priest on Sunday? Half Life 3 Confirmed!"

"what did cinderella say when she got to the ball? ""ggggkkk"" huh...kinda hard to tell this joke in text."

"How are an alcoholic and necrophiliac similar? Both enjoy cracking open a cold one."

"""I finally caught up with my son."" ""That's good. Progress. How did it go?"" ""Badly. I cut off his hand THEN told him."" - Vader & therapist"

"""so what did you do before self-driving cars?"" ""we just drove 'em ourselves!"" ""wow, no one died that way?"" ""oh no, millions of people died"""

"Be sure to take the time to honor a soldier today by punching a politician in the face."

"listening to Mambo No. 5. every time Lou Bega says a woman's name I fire my gun into the sky"

"I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it..... It's true, I saw it with my own eyes."

"Of Course the Moon Landings Were Staged I've never heard of a single staged rocket going to the moon."

"What did the tomato say to the ear of corn? Nothing, as tomatoes lack any ability to communicate."