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Joke of the Day

"If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe's poker table you're too mature for me."

"My grandparents worked hard to make sure their kids had everything and I'm working hard and not having kids to make sure I keep everything."

"I was going to tell a gay joke butt fuck it"

"Opinions are like assholes... sometimes you need a second asshole"

"How do you organize a Space Party? You Planet!"

"Now THAT's what I call music! And THIS? THIS is what I call a movie. Oh & over there? A TV show! Don't even get me started on YouTube videos"

"Gonna teach a bunch of old white guys the word ""bae"" so teens stop thinking it's cool and it goes away forever."

"I have this theory that McDonald's hamburgers are actually made out of their employees. That's why they're always hiring."

"What's a Vice Presidents favorite type of math function? An Al Gore-ithm"

"Shouldn't you be on top of the tree, Angel?"