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Joke of the Day

"People say the World Cup in Qatar is a bad thing... But when it's all over they're going to have some great stadiums to behead women in..."

"What has four wheels, and flies? A Garbage Truck."

"Does your skin feel burnt? Because I think you must have just fallen down from heaven, and re-entry gave you a tan."

"*dancing with the stars* *all of a sudden there's a fault in our stars* me(to stars): what the hell guys? we practiced this! *star wars*"

"Learning someone led a double life would hard to process because yes, they betrayed you, but wow, think about those organizational skills"

"What did the worker ant say when the queen ant asked him to make mittens for all of the other ants? *Fuck.*"

"What's the difference between public hair and pubic hair? Pants."

"My friend and I opened a shared bank account for buying weed. It'll be our joint account."

"I went through and unfollowed everyone who is better looking than me. It took a lot longer than I thought it would."

"LPT: If you couldn't fit all of the planets in the planetary alignment in one shot Try backing up a bit"