31993

Joke of the Day

"*dancing with the stars* *all of a sudden there's a fault in our stars* me(to stars): what the hell guys? we practiced this! *star wars*"

"What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose."

"I would make a joke here... ...but Amy Schumer doesn't need any more material."

"Arron Hernandez found guilty of first-degree murder He has been sentenced to life in prison without parole. I'm not quite sure how much longer he is going to remain a ""tight end"""

"What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear. I know it's bad, but everyone deserves a good arsenal of dad jokes."

"You had a panic attack on the elevator, so no, you can't go with me to buy drugs"

"Why do elephants have big flat feet? To stomp out burning ducks."

"A lot of people are saying that it was a ref's bad call denying the blackhawks goal... But we all know that it was really Buffalo Wild Wings doing."

"Janet: What's the difference between a cake and a school bus ? Jill: I don't know. Janet: I'm glad I didn't send you to pick up my birthday cake !"

"How did the Romans split up their empire? With a pair of Caesars. (Thanks [Deep Digger Dan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=JUIumhWtTK4))"