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Joke of the Day

"I see the 'pet rocks' are back and fighting too! *Rolls in 6ft diameter granite boulder* *Folds arms, taps foot*"

"Why do men sound like they're having an orgasm when they're lifting weights? And why is my father lifting weights in the bathroom?"

"Why did the semen cross the road? The chicken came first"

"Take my advice I'm not using it."

"There once was a girl named Sally with no arms.. ""Knock Knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Not Sally"""

"what do you call an optimistic 0? A cheery-o!"

"I try not to beat live horses, either"

"I accidentally hit my head on a window today... It was paneful."

"A girl asked me if I was into anal sex... I said I've never tried it, but I figure it'd be fucking shit."

"I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one."