181768

Joke of the Day

"I think my dog is gay because he wags his tail every time I suck his dick."

"Q: What do you get Devin Hester for Christmas?? A: Nothing - he'll just return it!"

"How many cats can you fit in a smart car? None, you can't get any pussy in a smart car."

"My neighbours really like Halloween They dress up as ghost every weekend and go out for lynch."

"Why do pandas have black eyes? SHE FELL, DAMNIT! God! What is with all the fucking questions?"

"I didn't want to wake up this morning and go to work. It's not that I don't like my job, it's just"

"Not sure what my dog thinks I do all day, but based on her excitement when I get home she apparently lives in constant fear I'll be murdered"

"What do you get when you cross a firecracker and a duck? A firequacker."

"My doctor just told me I'm suffering from paranoia. Well he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what he was thinking."

"How to eliminate world hunger and unemployment at once? Let the hungry eat the unemployed."