57903

Joke of the Day

"I didn't want to wake up this morning and go to work. It's not that I don't like my job, it's just"

"Two TV antennas got married last weekend. The wedding was nothing special, but the reception was excellent."

"I feel creepy every time I 'follow' someone. Where are they going to take me? I hope its somewhere good"

"Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? One is under buck fifty one is under a buck."

"Have you heard the one about the magic tractor? It drove down the lane and turned into a field."

"What noise does a Hebrew train make? Jew jew!"

"Im in a band called ""Missing Cat"" You've probably seen our posters..."

"Today TO DO list: 1) vacuum huge spider in living room 2) panic 3)throw vacuum cleaner outside 4)buy new spiderless vacuum"

"Been throwing away this piece of tape for the last 17 hours"

"Remember, ladies, when you're taking those selfies, the camera adds like 10 cats."