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Joke of the Day

"My doctor just told me I'm suffering from paranoia. Well he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what he was thinking."

Next Joke
 
"What do you call a man chasing a car? -Exhausted What do you call a man being chased by a car? -Tired"
"Prostitutes are really over achievers... I mean all they do is succeed."
"A pedophile chicken has sex with an egg... Obviously the chicken came first."
"Why do native Americans hate the snow? Because it's white, and it's on their land."
"Her: I'm pregnant Me: WHAT? H: Just kidding M: You scared me half to death H: My mom is coming to stay with us M: *the other half dies*"
"Bernie Sanders is such a socialist... ...he gave Hillary Clinton half the votes in Iowa."
"What do you call a large pile of kittens? A meowntain."
"*stands next to ATM and cheers every time someone wins money*"
"What I want In A Man (NSFW)"