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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you cross a firecracker and a duck? A firequacker."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy? A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one."
"If a tiger attacks your mother-in-law and your wife at the same time, whom would u save? Man : Off course, the tiger.. very few are left"
"Cop: do u have anything illegal in the vehicle Me: *thinks about all the drugs in the car* no Cop: why did you just say asterisk thinks abo"
"When we were vacationing in New Zealand, I bought myself a back-scratcher made from a Kangaroo claw. ... ... The only downside is when I use it on myself, I end up feeling jumpy the rest of the day."
"If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian... then soviet"
"How many people does it take to tell a joke on reddit? Two. One to post the joke and one to post a better punchline in the comments."
"If you are what you eat, then my dog is a calculator."
"What's the difference between Lebron James and a dollar (USD)... A dollar gives you four quarters :-)"
"How do you measure a Lego figure's shoe size? In square feet."