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Joke of the Day

"How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian.... I'll get my coat..."

"[getting my picture taking with the sports team mascot] ""I know you're not really an armadillo"""

"Why do black guys have red eyes after sex? Pepper Spray."

"Q: Why did the sheriff arrest the tree? A: Because its leaves rustled."

"Asked my toddler if she'd work on being more careful when eating in her car seat. Her response was an immediate ""No."" At least she's honest."

"What's the difference between a crow and a raven? All birds have tail feathers that help them fly called pinions. Crows have 3 pinions and ravens have 4. The difference is just a matter of a pinion."

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's too cheesy."

"You should be able to pick a theme for your Facebook movie... Because some of you should need to pick drama..."

"Kill the man Cop: ""Did you kill this man?"" Me: ""No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."""

"I became rich by selling fertilizer. I have some very prosperous phosphorus."