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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the sheriff arrest the tree? A: Because its leaves rustled."

"What do you say when German secret police is bugging you? geSTAHPo!"

"Yesterday 9 asked what's the meaning of life and 6 punched him, but that was yesterday when I was on acid. Numbers don't usually talk to me."

"I do 5 sit-ups every morning. It may not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button."

"If Microsoft built cars you would need to restart your car then it would perform illegal operations and crash."

"Have you heard of the Greek version of monopoly? It's called Monopopolous, and you just borrow all the money from the bank. Everybody loses"

"Keep your friends close and your asthma inhaler closer."

"What do you call somebody who is allergic to wearing little alligators on their polo shirt? Lacoste intolerant."

"Business plan: 1) Spend 20 years mastering karate 2) Teach karate class, so you meet people who don't know karate 3) Rob them"

"r/politics That is all."