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Joke of the Day

"What bounces and makes little children cry? My donation check to Feed the Children!"

"You know you're a bad driver when Siri tells you ""after 400 feet stop and let me out"""

"I got in an argument with Kobe Bryant. I now have Kobe Beef."

"What's the difference between a bag of chips and a duck with the flu? One's a quick snack and the other's a sick quack!"

"COP: Describe the robber to our sketch artist ME: He had one eye higher than the other and his lips on his forehead PICASSO: I got this"

"Number Bullying 1 was making fun of 0 for being fat and how he equates to nothing. This continued for several weeks until 0 had enough. He grabs 1 by his throat and shouts ""Stop boolean me!""."

"I've been feeling down all evening... I think my duvet has split."

"What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies."

"What did the headlines read after the midget fortune-teller escaped from jail? Small medium at large."

"When I'm looking for a parking spot I turn the radio down because clearly I can see better when it's quieter..."