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Joke of the Day

"Why did the fallen child cross the road? Believing that one day, the chicken will cross the road, it fills you with determination."

"Martin Shkreli's life was such a joke he was born on April 1st..."

"What did the candy say as they saw a group of intimidating crackers approach? Cheez It!"

"(NSFW) Know how I know you're gay? Your dick tastes like shit"

"Did you hear about the guy who opened a cheese store in Israel? He called it ""Cheeses of Nazareth""."

"Men are like old car tires. Balding full of hot air and it never hurts to have a spare."

"Offensive Joke (Orlando) The only straight thing in Orlando are the bullets"

"Pogo, Radio So two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. To the left of them is a sink. One of the polar bears turns on the bath water, and the other says, ""Pogo, radio."""

"Back in my day we didn't have leaderboards or RTs. We just tweeted for fun. Uphill both ways. In the snow."

"Happy birthday to Jay Leno. Born April 28, 1950. Dies nightly at 11:35 eastern, 10:35 central."