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Joke of the Day

"My boss keeps getting pissed when I call him 'Dick' for short... It might be because his name is Brian."

"Hold me closer, tiny dancer. Oh my... not that close. I can't breathe. How are you so strong? LET ME GO TINY DANCER"

"Question: What do you call a gay dinosaur? Answer: Mega-sore-ass."

"i can confirm that Somali pirates have intercepted my shipment of 20,000 glossy 8x10 headshots and are using them for vile purposes"

"My black friend asked me where to find the color copier I said it's 2015 and he can use whatever copier he wants to"

"When the dryer buzzer scares you so bad you have to do another load of laundry."

"[wife gets in the car after talking with the priest] ""What did the priest have to say?"" ""He said you have to stop rapping over the choir."""

"alladin: do u trust me jasmine: i've only known you for 2 hours a: so u don't wanna jump off this rooftop j: lemme ask my tiger first"

"What two words have the most letters? Post office."

"Do you, Karen, take David the Optometrist to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse? Better... or worse?"