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Joke of the Day
"Relationship or hallucination? Either way, I'm seeing somebody."
Next Joke
"What is love? Those who play with it call it a game. Those who don't have it call it a dream. And me, I call it you."
"I don't know why /r/deadbedrooms complains so much about starfish sex. Personally, it really turns me on when her arms grow back."
"1. Sit in stall of a crowded bathroom. 2. Whisper, ""Oh no, not again..."" 3. Slowly pour a large bucket of milk onto the floor."
"what's the difference between a cat and compound sentence? one has claws at the end of it's paws...the other has a pause at the end of it's clause."
"Why can't we see photons having sex? They do it in the super-position."
"What has no eyes and four legs? No idea."
"I fired a man named Diarrhea today... His shit wasn't together"
"Coolest jobs: 1)Beer maker 2)Secretary of War 3)Ninja 4)Guy who pushes scared skydivers"
"There is still no cure for mornings."