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Joke of the Day

"CPR refresher class. We're told, ""If they're not breathing, there's no way you can make it worse."" Woman then trips; kicks dummy's head off."

"When you get to jail, challenge the biggest, baddest guy in there to rock, paper, scissors in front of all his friends"

"When I was a little boy, my dad taught me that any little boy or girl, even me, could grow up and become President someday... I'm starting to believe him."

"too soon? Knock knock? Who's there? 9/11! 9/11 who? So much for ""NEVER FORGET"""

"If you think colours aren't funny then you lack a sense of hue-mour"

"My friend got into the final of the Suit Olympics. He's worried he's gonna tie, but I told him not to worry if he wins or not."

"In the medical community, death is referred to as ""Chuck Norris Disease"""

"I've spent the better part of my marriage battling to get these two strings inside my wife's shirt to actually stay on this hanger"

"""Hello from the outsiiiiide. I must have called a thousand tiiiiimes"" - me, drunk, leaving my wife another voicemail because I'm locked out"

"You hear about the NBA player who married a midget? He was nuts over her."