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Joke of the Day

"A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. Bartender says, ""wow where did you get that?"" Parrot looks at him and says ""Africa, there's millions of them."""

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"Month End Status Month begins with lots of happiness and ends with just a few coins & credit card bills"
"A Catholic priest and a rabbi are sitting together on a bench when a young boy walks by... ""Let's fuck him!"" says the priest. ""Out of what?"" asks the rabbi."
"Greatest Fears: -Sharks -Ebola -Bears -Bear Sharks -Bear Sharks with Ebola -Sharks with Lazers -Man carrying a clipboard on the sidewalks"
"""<------------ people who don't want Ellen Pao to go."" --someone who's never getting to the front page"
"the blood of the innocent will run in the streets? maybe it should get a car or at least use the sidewalk"
"This venomous snake is pretty scary. What can we do to make it even scarier? Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES"
"That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off..."
"I bought a chilli dog and a thumb drive at a gas station... Ya know, for shits and gigs."
"She said that having a successful marriage is all about making sacrifices so I threw her into a volcano."