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Joke of the Day

"How much does a flight to Rio cost? A Brazilian dollars."

"My ratt bit me yesterday. I guess you could say we had a lack of communication."

"I don't see why people dislike racial diversity I'm getting bored of watching the 100 meter dash."

"It's funny how you think it's your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep."

"My friend thinks he's smart He said that onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face."

"Every horse you've ever seen has two people inside them. Horses aren't real. Commitment is."

"If two people love each other nothing is impossible... Except deciding where to eat."

"*i put two straws in my drink* gf: awhh :) me: hell ya double barrel *i use both straws*"

"*turns on the news* I wonder if things are getting better in the wor-- tv: AN ALLIGATOR ATE A BABY"

"A man started telling a joke, but he started with the punch line... What did you expect?"