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Joke of the Day

"A man started telling a joke, but he started with the punch line... What did you expect?"

"Why did the punk cross the road. He was stapled to the chicken."

"Have you heard of the artist Jackson Polyp? He could only paint with splatters and he hung out with some real assholes."

"American government is of the people, by the people and for the people. Which begs the question: what is wrong with you people?"

"Sometimes when I can't sleep I stare into the darkness and think how uncomfortable it must be to have balls between your legs."

"What's up? The price of pussy. (My math teacher in high school use to say this one, he was cool.)"

"I am sooo glad I was young, wild & crazy before there were cell phones & evidence."

"Hipsters only listen to songs like Surfin' Bird by the Trashmen You've probably never heard of it."

"Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn't get a date. "

"I lost my dictionary today. I can't find the words to express my dissapointment."