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Joke of the Day

"The Golden Globe goes to... Burrito ... for best actor in a microwave, with a convincing performance of taking longer than necessary."

"Perhaps Voldemort's face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station."

"When a women dates a younger man she's called a cougar, when a man dates a younger woman he is called Defendant."

"My butt was set on fire while I was out with my girlfriend It was really ember-ass-ing."

"What do you call a roaming caveman? A meanderthal"

"How does Bob Marley like his donuts? After a couple of spliffs."

"One good thing about pedophiles....! At least they drive slow in school zones...!"

"I said I was sorry three times looking in the mirror and now I'm in Canada"

"Simba - ""welcome to... The bone zone"" Nala - ""the what?"" Simba - ""elephant graveyard. I said elephant graveyard"""

"You wouldn't believe all of the Easter eggs I just found lying in the grass outside of this pre-school."