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Joke of the Day

"BEST ADVICE: Be happy in front of people who don't like you, it kills them."

Next Joke
 
"What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married."
"Her: I like the man-horsey in this film. He's hot. Me: Centaur. H: What? M: Centaur H: Is that his name? M: I want a divorce."
"What do you call a canadian girl that can not sing? Justin Bieber"
"Donkey kong, king kong, and a smart blonde fight on top of the empire state building. Who wins? None of them, they don't exist!"
"If you are an American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? You're peein'"
"*Clark Kent leaves his glasses on the coffeemaker at work* Lois: Anyone see the coffeemaker? You, with the glasses...seen the coffeemaker?"
"I think Yahoo! news is written by someone who's had significant head trauma."
"Why do Australians take forever to play chess? Because they never make it past the first check, mate."
"What does a hippy say when you ask him to leave? Namaste"