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Joke of the Day
"BEST ADVICE: Be happy in front of people who don't like you, it kills them."
Next Joke
"What does a cat call its black best friend? Its Maine Coon."
"He paid me $150 for the ""girlfriend experience,"" so I went through his phone then locked myself in the bathroom, sobbing inconsolably."
"I'd rather see a guy with a machete walking towards me than someone with a clipboard."
"Croutons and cherry tomatoes are the natural enemies of the plastic fork."
"Water bears are so badass... if they fall into the pits at La Brea, the tar degrades."
"It's not true that a married man will live longer than a single man It just seems longer"
"Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? No, but they had an Apple. "
"Today I connected all the freckles on my arm with a Sharpie. It spells out RIKSHAZ9LIRK. Clearly I am The Chosen One."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bull ! Bull who ? Bull the chain when your done !"