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Joke of the Day

"It's not true that a married man will live longer than a single man It just seems longer"

"I'm worried I won't pass my stress test"

"Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common? A: They both have black roots."

"Sometimes I kidnap holes filled with water *Well, well, well... What have we here?*"

"Good to know that if they ever release a lion in Walmart you only have to run faster than the fat lady with the zebra print pants on."

"Two guys walk into a bar.... You would think the first guy would've warned the other."

"What did the Buffalo say to his son on the first day of school? Bison."

"How do you comeback 'I know you are but what am I?"" A hypocrite"

"A bunch of NBA players decided to have a holiday party. They each brought a pass to dish."

"I saw a sheep give birth today All I could say was ""ewe"" (I know this joke is probably overused but I'm currently on a Bill Nye the Science Guy nostalgia trip right now so fuck the haters.)"