180800
Joke of the Day
"That's 49 -7 in dog goals."
Next Joke
"Advent calendars are fun if you ignore that every day is a new, fresh hell waiting to be survived."
"I hit a deer last night. It died instantly. I feel awful, but when I'm jogging I'm in my own world."
"There are only 10 bad people in the world.. And i get Christmas cards from 9 of them."
"A couple in their nineties are getting divorced. Everyone is like ""Why why why after all these years?"" They say ""We were waiting for the children to die."""
"A Doctor told a man he had chronic constipation. His response.. ''No shit!''"
"I'm suing samsung. I bought a Fucking Note 7 for my wife and it stil didn't explode."
"What did the painter say to her boyfriend? ""I love you with all my art!"""
"So cute how this taxi driver is taking an unnecessarily long route and driving slowly so he gets to spend more time with me."
"Roses are red. Wine is red. Poems are hard. Wine."