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Joke of the Day
"Age is just the number of hours I'm hungover for."
Next Joke
"The steak that I put in the Easy Bake Oven as a child is still not done"
"[birdwatching] Ah, let us behold the majesty of the Bald eagle. And let us acknowledge the social awkwardness of the Combover eagle."
"SO lame!!! My significant other is crippled."
"Twitter has lost 90% of my tweets. Great! Now I've got nothing to show for the last two years. Nothing."
"I just spent fifteen minutes wondering how mermaids poop in case anyone out there is looking for a best friend or arch nemesis or something."
"My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab."
"Promoting religious concepts is a sin"
"*Superman put glasses on Mt. Rushmore faces* Lois Lane: ""What the heck?? Who are those people up there?"""
"Why did Michael Brown rob the convenience store? He was so hungry he could eat a bullet."