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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 meters long? A thon"

"Texan: So where you from? Harvard graduate: The kind of place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions. Texan: Where you from jackass?"

"why does X always get to mark the spot? i bet Q would like a turn"

"Do you know how you piss off a bunch of people at once? http://www.redditstatic.com/reddit500.png"

"What's the longest sentence in the English language? I do."

"Why did the peadophile sign up for Netflix? He liked chillin."

"I miss the good old days when boot camp was for soldiers, not pudgy sorority girls attempting to get in shape for Spring Break."

"Did you hear about the gay fisherman who went for a check up They said if he wanted to get better, he had to stop going down on all the docks."

"What did Mick Jagger say when he walked in on Hugh Hefner in bed with Dennis Weaver? He said ""Hey Hey Hugh Hugh Get Off Of McCould"""

"I don't know why I would want to ""Keep Up"" with them... I don't even know where Kardashia is. (geography's not my strong suit)"