180710

Joke of the Day

"fun drinking game: take a shot of water every couple hours to make sure you're healthy and hydrated"

"What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist bastard."

"Every Scooby-Doo mystery could be solved by asking, ""1: Who is your most disgruntled employee?"" and ""2: Does he have access to a mask shop?"""

"Optimist- The glass is half full Pessimist- The glass is half empty Engineer- The glass is twice the size it needs to be. College Student- I can't afford the glass."

"My wife still misses me... but her aim is getting better"

"My top 5 exercises: -jumping to conclusions -flying off the handle -carrying things too far -dodging responsibilities -pushing my luck"

"Baltimore's chief export seems to be artisanal crime narrative."

"Do you have a favorite boat joke? No? Well you will schooner or later."

"What did the orphan say when the orphanage burned down? Nothing. He just laughed."

"I think that being a Lone Wolf is the coolest thing ever yeah.. except at the annual wolf picnic when you don't have a partner for the wolf hill barrel races."