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Joke of the Day
"Baltimore's chief export seems to be artisanal crime narrative."
Next Joke
"Ahhhhh A man was taking a crap and the water splashed his butt and he yelled ahhh toilet monster and ran out in the middle of the road butt naked and got run over."
"funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers a day seems necessary"
"Asked my son what he wanted for dinner. He said cheese. A good mom doesn't let her kid eat cheese for dinner. This cheese is delicious."
"I walked in on my daughter masturbating this morning. She's still too young to understand what I was doing, though."
"I use artificial sweetener at work. I add it to everything I say to my boss."
"Diet, Day 14: I hate everyone. My children are scared of me & I've repelled everyone else. But I'm starting to really like pears."
"You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?"
"yo mama's teeth so yellow that when she smiles everyone sings ""i got sunshine on a cloudy day""....."
"Why can't you have a party on the moon? There's just no atmosphere"