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Joke of the Day

"If I ever wake up miniature I'm going to use a ravioli as a pillow and just go back to bed."

"What do you call a book case hogging all the books? Shelf-ish"

"Most girls: ""I hangout with guys, there's less drama."" Me: ""I hangout by myself. There's no drama & I don't have to wear pants."""

"sperm is like olives you need to learn to eat it"

"I went to one of those colleges where you can make up your own degree... I ended up with a major in paedophilia and a minor in the back of my van."

"I've always wondered what I'm saying when I meow back at my cats."

"How do you stop a dog from biting you on monday? Kill the dog on sunday"

"i took a STD test today Turns out i pass with hepatitis A, i know what you're thinking and no i didn't cheat off the asian girl."

"My friend told me I don't know the meaning of irony Which was really ironic because we were at a bus station."

"Dad Joke: Help! There's a letter coming out of the water! It's an emerging 'C'."