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Joke of the Day

"Most girls: ""I hangout with guys, there's less drama."" Me: ""I hangout by myself. There's no drama & I don't have to wear pants."""

"Mexican Word of the Day... Ebola ""Today he went bowling and ebola perfect game!"""

"Who sings ""Love me tender"" and makes Christmas toys? Santa's little Elvis."

"Until you've thrown up peanut butter and jelly onto an 8 year old at the beach on a Sunday, don't talk to me about your ""drinking problems."""

"If you put on BBC news and told me it was Downton Abbey, I'd watch for like 20 min before I asked ""For real, tho?"""

"What the difference between a catholic priest and a pimple? Pimples wait until puberty to come on your face."

"Two nuns walk into a bar... The third one ducks."

"Jesus walks into a bar ""Just 12 waters please"", while winking at his disciples."

"Coworker: What would be your ideal- Me: Sleeping CW: But you didn't let me finish my- M: My answer is always sleeping."

"I hate when a girl says the wrong name during sex They know my name isnt Someone Help"