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Joke of the Day
"What feels good in the west but feels cotton in the East? Happi-ness"
Next Joke
"Grandma got bussy.... I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""
"This Prius we rented is pretty sweet. It can go 0-60 in 6 hours."
"""Life"" is like a box of chocolates: they're both food that come in boxes"
"This status is dedicated to whatever you're ignoring in real life to read it."
"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything"
"If Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders were stuck on an island, who would survive? America"
"How does a vampire enter his house? Through the bat flap."
"Why is my hand 11 inches long? Because if it were any longer it would be a foot!"
"Why was the nun hooked up to an IV of holy water? She was taking god's name in vein."