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Joke of the Day

"[comedy club] Worm: And what's the deal with dandelion stems? Right? Right?! Other worms: *silence* Early bird: *cracking up*"

"The Russian skater has a mullet. Glasnost in front, Perestroika in back."

"My work fired me for only losing a kilo! It sure is tough working for the International Bureau Of Weights And Measures..."

"LGBT should rename themselves BLTG. It's more tasteful."

"If ignorance is bliss there should be a lot more people with smiles on their faces."

"Question of the day: when was the last time that you saw a music video that was relevant to the actual song?"

"Women are like grapefruit trees. They ignore me."

"Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly that when a tear rolls down her cheek it takes one look at her face and rolls straight up again?"

"Did you hear about the new Canadian pornographic news network? I'll jizz here, eh?"

"My dentist said I have a very wet mouth. *Updates dating profile."