180233
Joke of the Day
"how do you make a conedian and a coke dealer hate you? Steal their lines"
Next Joke
"Wife: how was the doctor? Me: bad I'm dying Wife: I know, how was the doctor?"
"Bought some expensive neck cream. Directions say to apply it twice daily. If I slather it on every hour, I'll have the neck of a teen."
"Until you lean in to hear a seven-year-old's whisper, you don't realize that front teeth act as a retaining wall for spit."
"You can actually drink lava! but only once."
"Got laid twice in two days so either I've done something really good or my wife has done something really bad."
"What did Archimedes exclaim when he discovered his penis floated in water? URETHRA!"
"Two prostitutes are standing on the corner. One asked the other, ""Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz before?"" The prostitute replies, ""No, but I've been swung by my tits."""
"The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to ""watch a movie"" is actually watching a movie."
"Today everyone will update about who they chose for president, then tomorrow it will be back to what they chose for lunch."