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Joke of the Day

"Where is Macau? In m'field"

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

"'I've been a very naughty girl!' she said, licking her lips, 'I need to be punished . . .' So he invited his mother to stay for Christmas."

"What did the crop say to the Farmer? Why are you picking on me?"

"What's similar about a shy jihad and a bagpipe They only make noise once they've been blown up."

"What do you say when someone makes a racially insensitive comment? That's insensitive, you retard."

"Why can't rock climbing instructors get dates? Because they rappel men and women."

"What do you call presents after you've opened them? Pasts"

"A dyslexic guy... Walks into a bra."

"Am I a bad person of I am skeptical of a guy with a ""Need Help - God Bless"" sign on an iPad 2?"