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Joke of the Day

"(Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.) Text: Hey what are you up to?"

"What's the difference between a clown and a prostitute? Clowns have cunning stunts"

"What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ? Carpet !"

"A guy is fingering his girlfriend... ...after a while, she starts to shift uncomfortably and says ""would you mind taking your ring off, please?"" The guy responds: ""what ring? That's my wristwatch!"""

"Damn girl, are you the brownie I just dropped on the floor? because you're hairy but I still wanna eat you"

"Where do you guys stand on the cheese debate? I'm staunchly pro-volone."

"This 'Planking' craze has really taken off... The old man who lives next door to me has been lying face-down in his back yard for three days now."

"Dear Father Christmas could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!. Father Christmas: Can't do that one. He hasn't said what size his crocodile takes!"

"What's the cheapest meat? Deer balls. They're under a buck."

"Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock, knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? (punchline in comments)"