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Joke of the Day

"Damn girl, are you the brownie I just dropped on the floor? because you're hairy but I still wanna eat you"

"I've been watching a bird do a mating dance for half an hour now, it's working, I want him."

"Do you want to join my pistol club? We drink till noon and piss till two."

"6, that's SIX, people emailed everyone at work with the SAME information which has resulted in 48 replies and now I wanna quit my job."

"What do you call an epileptic frolicking in a garden? Seizure salad."

"When I was a kid my mom told me I could become whatever I wanted So I became a disappointment"

"all restaurants are drive-thru if you drive hard enough"

"What do you call a chef who's stingy with herbs? PARSLEYMONIOUS"

"pessimist vs optimist (x-post from funny) The pessimist says, It can't get any worse!' And the optimist replies, Oh yes it can!"

"if a cop pulls u over play dead"