89644

Joke of the Day

"Dear Father Christmas could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!. Father Christmas: Can't do that one. He hasn't said what size his crocodile takes!"

"People that pronounce vase like ""voz"" make me want to punch them in the foz."

"Game of Thrones The only porn you DO watch for the plot"

"Went to the Planetarium to do some stargazing but I didn't see one celebrity. Rip-off!"

"""Life's too short to remove USB safely"""

"Once upon a time there was a Chinese man and a Chinese woman Look how many there are now"

"Why is it hard for men to understand women? Because you have to study abroad to understand them."

"A Spanish magician says he can make himself disappear on the count of 3 Uno, dos... Suddenly the magician disappears without a tres."

"Pokemon? go fuck yourself"

"They said ""orange is the new black""... ...but I didn't realise they meant Trump would replace Obama."