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Joke of the Day

"On autopsy, instead of pumping my stomach to determine what I've eaten in the past 24 hours, a coroner need only look down my cleavage."

"A man walks into a bar... and says ""ouch"""

"Old Mrs. Hubbard, went to her cupboard to fetch her old dog a bone. But when she got there, the cupboard was bare, so he gave her a bone of his own"

"/r/shitredditsays"

"Q: Why is being in the military like a blow job? A: The closer you get to discharge the better you feel."

"I found out that middle age is were you finally get your head together and then your body starts falling apart"

"There are two kind of women in this world. Those who get mad about everything, and those who get mad about nothing."

"Only Pools And Corpses A new sitcom starring Michael Barrymore and Demi Moore."

"If a lobsters come in on lobster boats, and clams come in on clam boats, what do crabs come in on? The captain's dinghy."

"Any girl who says she's not the jealous type will change her tune when another girl phones you drunk at 3am."