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Joke of the Day

"How do you know shes the one? Because she Gives you a blowjobs even when she's dead."

"Yo momma is like a brick! She's flat, heavy, and gets laid by Mexicans all day!"

"Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up."

"My ex-girlfriend made a really great cake the other day Getting her legs to fit in the oven was a real hassle, though."

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? You can't milk a cow for 14 years... I'm going to hell."

"Just looked in my 8 yr old son's bedroom and I'm pretty sure it can't be ruled out that the Malaysian jet may be in there somewhere."

"Always answer a math question in a silly voice because if you're wrong they'll think you're joking and if you're right they'll feel dumb."

"How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it. I'll show myself out."

"I've spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can't find his nuggets."

"New York Yankees sign Adrian Peterson They were looking for a good switch hitter"