211954

Joke of the Day

"Always watch your step on an escalator. I once tripped and fell down the stairs for an hour and a half"

"Did you hear the joke about the Hassidic jew dentist who only puts braces on every third tooth? He's an unorthodox orthodox orthodontist"

"My wife complained the other day, ""Why did God give women periods with cramp pains and men nothing?"" I laughed and said, ""Don't be silly honey, he gave us women."""

"Today is a new day. Be thankful. Do something nice for yourself. Call someone you haven't spoken to in a while. Run with a pair of scissors"

"Copernicus was trying to figure out why the Sun set at night and rose during the day. Then it dawned on him."

"Do you love me? Of course Then whisper something soft and sweet in my ear Lemon meringue pie !"

"If I applied for a job at the Vatican & they asked for my references I'd say, ""Contact Him"" while pointing up. HOW COULD I NOT GET THE JOB."

"Never tell a blind Catholic that seeing is is believing..."

"What do you call a smart Australian? A New Zealander"

"How to stop a small dog from humping your leg. Pick him up, and suck his dick!"