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Joke of the Day
"Moses parts the Hi-C... ...To save the juice"
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"Why is PC the mustard race? Because consoles can't ketchup."
"I'm the skeptical guy in the infomercial audience. I didn't believe a $20 food chopper could be such a good value. guess what. I was wrong."
"How does a Muslim find a goat in tall grass? Sexier when his child bride is holding it."
"Hey, have you heard of that new movie, ""Constipation""? Yeah...it hasn't come out yet."
"Why did Leonardo Di Caprio laugh at the Oscar joke? He finally got it!"
"The worst part about being introduced to new people is the panic moment where I think ""Pay attention! Pay attention!!!"" and miss their name."
"It's complicated"" is just code for, ""I'm willing to cheat."""
"Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash? - He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado"
"Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking."