190539

Joke of the Day

"The downside of being tolerant is all the ignorant bullshit you have to tolerate."

"What do you call a rich frog ? A golf blooded reptile !"

"Remember that time when we got trapped on a ski-lift for 4 days, then the acid wore off and we were just sitting on my grandmas porch-swing."

"So i watched a scary movie last night. It was so scary my shit took a shit"

"I'm going to rewrite history. History."

"A fax machine is just a surprise printer."

"What did the memory say to the processor? If you apply a voltage to me, I'm going to flip a bit!"

"Why couldn't the life guard save the hippie? He was too far out, man."

"On a scale from 1 to... On a scale from 1 to 16, how illegal was she?"

"*spin kicks cigarette out of your mouth* Nothing is cooler than health"