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Joke of the Day

"Ate a whole box of donuts. But I ate them *really* fast so hopefully that counts as a workout and balances out the calories."

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"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump ? One's a dumb and the other is dumber"
"In biology class my teacher asked ""What is most commonly found in cells?"" Apparently ""black people"" was not the right answer"
"If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives."
"So a pregnant patient came in to the hospital after a 'huge gush of fluid'... So I asked if el nino or la nina was coming."
"My kid just locked me out of the house in 95 degree weather, but sure, ""it goes by so fast."""
"Son, when I was your age, our video game controllers were hard wired to the console. And Mario had to walk uphill both ways to the castle."
"What kind of train eats too much? a chew chew train"
"I got an allergic reaction to peanuts. Then I got sued by TheFineBros."
"What is mother-approved and child-tested? Coat-Hanger Abortions"
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