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Joke of the Day

"If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives."

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"Earlier today I walked by a PERFECTLY S-shaped dog turd & didn't tweet a photo of it so I guess what I'm saying is that I'm growin up, guys"
"Why did the dung beetle go to rehab? He was rolling balls."
"How do you castrate an Amish man? Kick his sister in the jaw."
"Answering school teachers like... Teacher: What is the outside of a tree called? Student:I don't know. Teacher: Bark, my child, bark. Student: Bow, wow, wow."
"They said I'd never overcome my addiction to Phil Collins. ♩ But take a look at me nooooow ♩"
"What's a pirate's favourite type of weaponry? It's ARRRtillery! bonus: A pirate's favourite melee weapon? A scimitARRR"
"Last year I ate out alone on Valentine's Day. To avoid embarrassment, I yacked the whole time with a lovely couple the next table over."
"""do you answer the phone while having sex"" a woman asks her friend. The friend says ""only if its my husband calling me..he's my husband after all""."
"When I almost snapped after I heard the same joke over and over, I've found out what rhymes with orange ! Deez nuts ! Ha, got him !"
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