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Joke of the Day

"The free sample lady just asked if I'd like to try some slow roasted pork loin and then did a hip thrust at me."

"What is the hardest part of eating a vegetable ? Putting her back in the wheel chair"

"A man walks into a bathroom and slips on a turd.. Another man approaches and says ''are you alright mate? I just did that''"

"How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag? hint: take the ""S"" out of ""safe"" and the ""F"" out of ""way"""

"I always feel a little sad for a guy when I notice he missed a belt loop on his pants or lost his family in a fire."

"Fitness tip: It's absolutely crucial to take ""rest days"" when working out so you don't get hurt. I've recently taken over 300 of them."

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one, but it takes a very long time and the light bulb has to really want to change."

"Did you that even when The Thing is not scared... He still shits bricks"

"I had a dream I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted."

"I have a friend who won't admit that he dresses up as Santa every year. He's pretty deep in the Clauset."