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Joke of the Day

"I have a friend who won't admit that he dresses up as Santa every year. He's pretty deep in the Clauset."

"You look dirty, so does your toaster maybe you should both go for a bath... I'll draw it"

"His girlfriend returned all his letters. I bet she marked them ""second class male !"""

"Do competitive origami artists ever fold under pressure?"

"I'm pretty sure these people at the next table are talking about how paranoid I am."

"Just seen a midget struggling carrying a TV to his car. I said "" You need a hand with that flat screen mate?"" He said ""Fuck off dickhead, its an ipad"""

"League of Legends, Dota, and Hearthstone are now on ESPN Title"

"whats the definition of a will? (lol come on guys its a dead giveaway)"

"Q: What is the best Iraqi job ? A: Foreign Ambassador"

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Unless you work in the alzheimer's wing of a nursing home, then you get lots."