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Joke of the Day

"So a baby and I head into a bar, smashed... Wait, I think I'm telling this one wrong... I smashed a bar into a baby's head. There it was."

"Who are your favorite underground artists?? Mine are Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston"

"My Nephew's pet chicken died. I couldn't help asking if the funeral will be fried or roasted."

"I saw a homeless man I know on a bicycle Guess he's mobile homeless"

"What did the pig say when he found a line of ants in his trough? ""Mmm. Canapes."""

"Why have the French lost the war? They have to eat a dessert after each meal."

"Who should of gotten asphalt? Cleopatra."

"I'm not ashamed to say that when I saw everyone was getting these new ""selfie sticks"" for Xmas I thought it was some new fantastic deodorant"

"Drank enough whiskey to talk the husband into a Titanic reenactment. He's laying in the snow and I won't share the picnic table with him."

"Me: Whatcha doing on the PC? Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT?!? D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that."