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Joke of the Day

"Me: Whatcha doing on the PC? Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT?!? D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that."

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"Kids these days be like.. Hashtag, you're it"
"Ocean How does the ocean greet us?"
"[on phone with debit fraud] Bank guy: Sir do you shop on line at all Me: DUDE IT'S 2017 WE BUY TOILET PAPER ONLINE BG: M: Sometimes. Yes"
"What's Hitler's least favorite Beatles song? Hey Jude"
"What do you call a torturer who says a lot of puns. A PUNisher"
"How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian? Just spin him around in circles until he's disoriented"
"How do you know if you have a high sperm count? Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows."
"Newton's third law of Emotion. For every male action, there is a female overreaction."
"Why did Davy Crockett always wear a coonskin cap? It was a birthday present from his wife!"