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Joke of the Day

"So a blind man walks into a bar... And a table And a chair."

"What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside? A Lift (only a joke, my American friends)"

"I'd be super bummed if my Prince Charming rode in on a white horse because you'd think he could at least afford a Kia"

"I've always had a problem finishing what I've started..."

"What do you call a tight-fisted Wookie? Jewbacca"

"Prisoner:*strapped into chair* Flip the switch & fry me. Guard: Oh, we're not electrocuting you... *college kid w/ acoustic guitar walks in*"

"My vacuum sucks So I decided to sell mine, it was just collecting dust."

"I super glue one jar of pickles shut and leave it out at the barbecue then watch the humiliation unfold."

"I was going to tell a salt joke... But it's just sodium stupid."

"What's the difference between the 2016 Rio Olympics and the 2016 US presedential race? The Olympic competitors are qualified."